Theatre Unchained: AMC’s Cinema Suites Explained

Once in a while, miss Missouri and I like to shake up things. I’m not a crazy movie freak, but together we watch way more than we do apart. I guess it makes for excellent quality time, new inside jokes and at least something to talk about over dinner the coming week. Our shaking up last January took place in a new theatre that had opened near her place. It was a new concept (to us, at least), where you wouldn’t just watch a movie, but undergo a whole new experience.

First of all, you have to be 21 or over to enter. It’s not that anything really funky is going on, but it eliminates high school sweethearts looking for a very gross place to make out in the corner, little kids that get bored or young parents that bring their little ones to a movie so inappropriate, your replacing shame prohibits you from enjoying the movie, condemning it in the young-born soul’s place instead. This creates a unique  atmosphere. Behind the desk, you feel elected into a club that actually keeps people outside. It must be what it feels like going into an airport lounge, but I wouldn’t know, because every time I try, I get shooed away.

I made this picture myself. The quality explains why I don't put up more pictures and why we decided to hire a professional photographer.

I made this picture myself. The quality explains why I don’t put up more pictures and maybe also why we decided to hire a professional photographer for our wedding. 

Only 29 people fit in the theatre. Big lounge chairs make you feel like a little kid (unless you’re the guy next to us, who actually needed that seat). The full hour of commercials flies by, because you’re overwhelmed with the exclusive atmosphere, the private waiter that comes by and playing with the buttons that make your chair even more laid-back. Unlike everyone else in the theatre, we actually ate a meal before going in, but our beers and brownie (even though the combination sounds absolutely terrible) were surprisingly good. We saw Django Unchained and I even provided a mini review as a bonus. After the movie, we had quite something to talk about. The whole concept gives a feeling of a night out, as if you’re going to the theatre again. If I’m really honest, our seats, service and experience were far better than our one time visit at the opera.

What’s your favorite night out?

*Bonus: mini review for Django Unchained.
I give it *** (that’s three stars, not a covered-up dirty word) out of five. Not that I disliked the movie, it was just too much Quentin Tarantino. One of the reasons I am not suited to actually review movies is that I have never watched one of his movies (fully). I’ve heard rumours about his style, they were all true and had someone else directed the movie, it would have been much better.

Training ‘Merica At The Speed Man Was Made For

My recent visit to Missouri was concluded with a train ride from Saint Louis to Chicago, where I’d board my plane to Amsterdam. I’m used to travel by train; I never needed a driver’s license just because using a train was cheaper and just as easy. I knew where I was boarding the train. I had seen Saint Louis Union Station many times before whenever we passed it on our way downtown. It is a majestic hallway, a tribute to steel and coal, located in the heart of the city. The massive building in a way represents mankind conquering nature, it’s the starting point for the man-made masses that plow through the open land. In my mind, I saw the train standing in the main hall, blowing off some steam. The excited chatter of passengers and those who will be left behind is overwhelmed by the mechanical sounds of the machine that is warming up like a bull getting ready to charge. While I lean from the open window and hold miss Missouri’s hand for the last time in months, the conductor gives a last shout: ‘All aboaaard!’. While the train starts to move, miss Missouri takes out the handkerchief, still moist from getting the tears of farewell out of the corners of her eye. In slow motion, I see her watering eyes slowly part from me, as the train departs that awesome station.

train leaving goodbye

In reality, it turned out that Union Station is a Hard Rock Cafe now. The actual Amtrak station is a few hundred yards to the side and looks as nostalgic as an Arby’s parking lot after midnight. In a cold hall, people were scattered around trying to catch some sleep. This was quite the anti-climax, especially when the conductor refused to yell the ‘all aboard’, even with me adding ‘pretty please’. But when the train started moving, my journey was nostalgic again. The glass windows that make the Saint Louis skyline were reflecting the golden glow of the sunrise. With the train moving at deferential speed, I watched the arch wake up, the city get ready for a new day.

My phone does not capture the magic. It's a miracle it captured anything at all.

My phone does not capture the magic. It’s a miracle it captured anything at all. Also, I’ll pretend the reflection in the window adds to the travelling feeling. 

Outside the city, the risen sun gave a perfect view on the many small towns we passed. Everyday life was going by me at a pace that made it easy enough to wonder about. I liked looking out of the window and seeing the big industrial complexes, big mansion next to golf courses and the trailer homes with the rusty cars. It may not be time efficient, but going at that speed is what man is made for. Flying rips you away from life, away from the earth and cars just get you focused on what’s ahead, to where you’re going. It’s the train that allows you to sit and wonder. Isn’t that what travelling should be about? If you decide to try it, be sure to bring an e-reader for the boring parts in between. Illinois has some cute towns, but those boring open lands in between still take way too much time.

And rolling into Chicago a few hours later is just as exciting.

And rolling into Chicago a few hours later is just as exciting.

Bridging Time Gaps And Fighting Boredom

Watching a lot of television makes you less capable in a lot of things among a wide spectrum of intelligence. Even worse, I can’t talk to people when there’s a television in the background. Combine that with the intake of alcohol and you may have found out why going to an American bar is mentally challenging for me. It’s pretty easy to measure, too. My mental capacities are strongly related with my accent. By the time I start talking Dutch, it’s time to go home.

Sometimes, television fills the gap between two activities. There’s nothing worse than waiting for a doctor’s appointment or running on a treadmill without a television. Before you know it, your mind wonders off and you’re thinking for no reason. We wouldn’t want that. That’s why it’s a good thing we now have television even in the smallest gaps of life.

The Dutch have two things to gasp about: low gas prices and the mini tv.

The Dutch have two things to gasp about: low gas prices and the mini tv.

That’s right. If you were ever afraid how to bridge the time gap that you use to fill up your tank, don’t despair. NFL highlights, a short weather overview and news flashes are at your service. Now you’ll never have to be bored the whole forty to sixty seconds you stand outside your car. And even better yet, if you never watch a game outside a bar or airport (like yours truly), you can still participate in coffee conversations about the three most spectacular catches, runs and touchdowns that were evidently made last weekend.

What’s your favorite magazine/tv channel/phone app for the doctor’s waiting room?

Call Scripts, Crickets And An Angry Spanish Chick

As I am preparing for a wedding, I’m calling a lot of people. In the Netherlands, phone calls follow a script that would make telemarketers feel controlled. Because the Dutch are apparently afraid of the novelty that is communication on a distance, they pick up shouting their own name, just to establish who is being called before the conversation has properly started. Then, in an immediate response, the caller will pronounce his name and purpose for calling. The first part may seem a little odd, since the caller dialed a number and knows who is calling, but before you giggle too loud, remember the last time you dialed the wrong number and took about a minute to find out. In case you’re ashamed, let me sympathize. When I started calling miss Missouri (which I do at 5am central time), I mixed up the last four digits of her number and got a Spanish talking lady four mornings in a row. Imagine being waked up by a Dutchman at 5am who takes a solid minute to figure out you are not his girlfriend. Four days in a row.

For some reason, searching for 'angry Spanish woman' got me a few angry naked latino men, so I went for J-LO with a shotgun.

For some reason, searching for ‘angry Spanish woman’ got me a few angry naked latino men, so I went for J-LO with a shotgun.

For some reason, calling English-speaking people at more decent times does not go over much better. I am still used to the idea that a conversation starts with a proper name, so that I can go from there. Let me picture you the first twenty seconds of my phone call yesterday:
Callee: ‘Hello?’
Me: ‘…’
Crickets: ‘Chirp chirp chirp’
Okay, maybe the crickets weren’t there, but it sure felt that awkward. Don’t worry, after I said my name and had him try to pronounce it (he failed, it’s okay), our conversation was perfectly okay. I’ll be better prepared for any calls from now on and make sure our wedding has the appropriate people.

Ever talked to someone who you didn’t know was the wrong person?

Ever liked my Facebook page yet?

Adult Bookstores And Fitness

Whenever you drive from Saint Louis from Kansas, you start to feel wanted. You get invited for all kinds of things. People want you to come. Come to Jesus, come to Mizzou, come to the Amish, come to adult bookstores… Apparently, Missouri adults read a lot. No children’s books for sale, but lots of philosophy books, popular psychology books and policital books, evidently. I wouldn’t know, because even though miss Missouri knows my love for book stores, I am always denied a little side trip.

Don’t worry, I know what adult book stores really are. I’m not that naive. I just wonder how it applies to other adult areas. In a quiet corner on the beach, I have seen an ad for adult fitness, taking place around 4pm. Now what is adult fitness? Can I safely take my kids to the lake around 4pm or will I be known as the worst parent ever? Is there a bunch of naked old people jumping up and down once a week? Do they read afterwards?

I guess this is super-adult fitness.

I guess this is super-adult fitness.

Sometimes, signs can be amazing, if you read what they’re really saying. Short one, because I can: this sign indicates that burglars are prohibited in the neighborhood.

neighborhood watch

What’s your favorite ambiguous sign?

Missouri Nights Can Swing Your Socks Off

One of the places that pleasantly surprised me last August was a jazzy bar next to a comedy club. That describtion makes much more sense than you’d think, don’t worry. Miss Missouri and I went to a comedy club twice and the second time we decided to have a warming up in the bar next door. Most of the crowd was like us, waiting for the show to start, but what a shame that was. Five hipsters were playing very fine music, so soothing that the guitar player seemed hardly awake. One man was entertaining three girls by dancing their socks off, and boy did he dance.

 

It was nothing spectacular, but this guy made the place what it was supposed to be. A grey old couple had the front row seats just for themselves and nodded their heads with the rocking back and forth of the dancing couple. He lead the three girls one by one, but sometimes it was as if he lead the bass line and everybody’s bopping heads. The music couldn’t have been perfect, he might not be the best dancer alive and I might have been more than just a little bit jealous, but that man made my night. I’ve got a wedding coming up; I should really learn how to dance like that. Boogie down.

What’s your favorite dance move?

Remember the Fourties

Even though I have a sense my readers in general have a good understanding of the world and its history, I want to remind you of something that happened in the middle of the last century. The world was at war, and the two epicenters included Europe and East Asia. In the Netherlands, the German occupation was omnipresent. The scars are still shown by remaining buildings of the time, hiding places, museums and all other forms to remember the terrible things that happened in those days. The years 1940-1945 (occupation in the Netherlands) are marked in everyone’s head.

According to Wikipedia, the groundwork for the Gateway Arch was also laid in 1942.

One of the things I noticed when visiting Missouri, was that the US has a different viewpoint. It’s not the involvement in the war, the commitment or the awareness, but it’s the continuing of normal life. Around 1942, all everyday life stopped being normal. Football matches weren’t played, no elections were held and I could go on for quite a while. In Missouri, while the war was playing its role, the Saint Louis Cardinals won the world series in 1942 and 1944. I was shocked the first time I saw this. Those years are so wired in my brain to be linked with war, that I had to convince myself those years were real. They are, and for some reason, I still notice those years every single time I see them printed in a non-war context.

Do you have any years wired in your brain?

Have you seen my Facebook page? If you like it now, you’ll be well in time to see all the behind the scenes come August.

That Museum For Kids And Fun Adults

Saint Louis was never on top of my list of places to go visit. If I were to cross the pond, I’d visit New York, Los Angeles, San Fransisco, Miami, Boston… Missouri was never in there. Before I went there, miss Missouri would tell me all the stuff one can do in Saint Louis. After the first point, seeing the Cardinals, there was a long pause. It seemed like my gut feeling was right. Turns out, things aren’t all that bad. There’s not a day I spent in Saint Louis without something to do. Escpecially Forest Park seems stuffed with entertainment, one of them being the Science Center.

Energizer Ball Machine. Like that’s even a thing. Picture happily stolen from Wikipedia.

The Science Center is a lot of fun for kids. You can build bridges of giant building blocks, find out how earthquakes work, pretend you’re a dinosaur and get epileptic from the biggest Energizer Ball Machine (official name) you’ll ever see. I still don’t know what it’s good for. When we went there, schools had just started, so miss Missouri and I took the liberty of actually building the bridge, find out how earthquakes work and half of us even pretented to be a dinosaur. The best part of the museum as a whole, was that it’s free. Not just because I like free stuff, but also because for kids, it’s a really fun way to get a grib on the world around them. Amsterdam has a museum just like that, but that one costs E13,50 per person. That’s quite a difference for two museums that are pretty comparible.

What’s the best museum ever?

I’m visiting Missouri again in August. You’re welcome to provide tips in these comments. 

Wait, What Do I Tip My Readers?

I recently started a new job, in which I cycle around town to deliver pharmaceutical supplies for those who can’t come to the pharmacy themselves. With my third address, the old lady that received my delivery gave me a tip. It might have been the first time ever I was tipped. As I mentioned before, tipping isn’t that customary in the Netherlands. I only tip the pizza delivery guy and the taxi driver; all drinks are rounded up. Now that I think of it, I should stop tipping them as well. Immediately, I was reminded of all those times in the States and one time in particular.

I had just spent two months getting used to tipping the American way. In every amount I was spending, I was adding taxes and a decent tip in my head. I had grown so accustomed to it, I was doing it regardless of where I went. So at some point at Chicago airport, I bought a small bag of pretzels (it was something else, because miss Missouri packed my bag as I were crossing the desert on a big wheel, but for the sake of argument, pretzels will do). I paid and then it got awkward. I didn’t know if I was supposed to tip her or not. If I had to, she might have gotten upset over me not tipping. If I shouldn´t, I might offend her. I chose upsetting over offending her and ended up not tipping.

Who do you normally tip?

What would you tip me (pharmacy wise)?

 

Standing Ovations: Not Just For Anyone

I have talked about the privileges that military personnel has in the US before, although I’d like to touch another part of this topic. During sporting events, there always seems to be an intervention where the camera on the screen focuses on somebody in uniform, while the stadium speaker announces the rank, previous missions and age of the man standing (or woman, but I haven’t seen that yet). Then the whole stadium gets up, cheers and gives the man a standing ovation.

Most women just drool and sigh when the man in uniform appears on the screen, but that's a whole other story.

It baffles me. I’ve got nothing against the military (I envy their benefits, but that’s besides the point here), but I feel the heroism is a little misplaced. Don’t get me wrong, I believe any army in the world can be a force that can do a lot of good, but there’s something weird about how America celebrates its defensive forces. Let’s face it: if you want to cheer to someone who has done a lot of good for your community, you wouldn’t immediately think of someone who did a lot of hard work establishing democracies in the Middle East, safeguarding innocent people abroad and kicking some bad guys’ asses that are mostly a threat to other countries. I’d think of doctors, teachers, firemen and the sort. Why not have the stadium speaker announce the following: ‘Ladies and gentleman, this year alone, doctor Bibber has saved the lives of twelve different kids. Please show your appreciation.’ I don’t want to question the hard work those men do, nor why they should do it, but why not shift among heroes? There must be more to choose from.

Who would you give a standing ovation to?